Lately, I have been finding myself very "jealous" of the things/lifestyles that others around my "age" have. I wonder why we are having such a tough time financially? Why can't Brian find a good job/career? I honestly feel like our home (in which we have lived 7 years) is just BAD LUCK! I know we all create our own situations in life but wonder why, if we are trying to make a better life for ourselves; can't we "catch a break"? I just feel so depressed with not having any money to do little things like go the Dollar Store or take the boys for ice cream! This has been the worst summer so far, for so many reasons- and I wanted it to be the BEST summer! UGH! I have been job-hunting too, which makes me even more sad. I want to still work my wonderful part-time job 6 months of the year and be home with lil sweet Gage and be involved with Gavin's school. But it just isn't going to work for us financially. I get so sad thinking about having to go back to work full-time; I haven't done it in years and Gage is our last child, so I want to enjoy him growing up like I did with Gavin.
All of the financial burdens are on Brian, which in turn is making him grumpy and moody. He is tired of handling it all. I have bills that need to be paid but don't have the money right now and I feel bad asking him for any money for anything! We are getting married in November of '09 and I really wanted to start looking for a wedding dress soon, but its just not happening anytime soon. So that makes me feel more depressed, so I eat junk which helps me feel a little better temporarily but then I complain about feeling/being fat! I don't want to look this way for my wedding day, but I am so down in the dumps that I have no motivation to start exercising, or eating better.
Well, sorry to vent- maybe someone can offer me some insight on how to deal with this better? I used to believe so much in this little saying "This too shall pass" but "this" is taking waaaaaaaaayyy too long to pass for us!
~Noelle
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Noelle, In my train wrecks of life, I have had to believe so deeply in prayer. Faith is something that costs nothing and no one can take it away. A higher power is the only power when we are so weak and in need. I know. Love,Mom
Unfortuantely, I think I understand a little bit of how you feel. My husband has been looking for a job for several months now. And we've been thinking that maybe it is time for me to go back to work - just to have some income. It is hard to listen to my friends complain about how much they are spending on vacations when I'm worried about buying grocerires. The whole "this too shall pass" is not comforting at all. I don't really have any advice though. Hang in there. I agree with your mom, prayer is so helpful. And know that it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do, you're not the only one.
Post a Comment