Say YES to the DRESS...

Here's the dress I thought I'd love but...

my I fell in LOVE with another!

Today was the first time I went and tried on Bridal Gowns; it ended up being a GREAT experience. I think I may have found "THE ONE". It was the second dress I tried on out of I think, 7. It just snugged me in the right places and it actually was NOT one that I thought would look good on me, nor would I like. My "bridal consultant", Tracy told me that when you find "THE ONE" you will know, you'll have butterflies in your stomach. I wasn't feeling the butterflies when I first tried it on but after putting in on the 2nd time and adding a unique "touch" to it; I was giddy with excitement!! We also found a tiara and a veil to coordinate with the special "touch". And well, "I think I'm in love with the dress!".

Of course, I need to think about it and take my momma with me to show it to her. I actually and surprisingly think she will love it as much as I do. It's "my style" and its all the things I wanted in a dress. Now, I just need to get this flabby arms of mine in shape!! (LOL)

So now, I just need to start saving the $$ for the dress! But I think I finally have the motivation to exercise and save my money for something that I really want!!

The above picture is the dress I "thought" I would love on myself; but it turned out to not be what I liked at all. Isn't it funny how you surprise yourself sometimes? I still think its pretty, its just not meant to be mine:)

Why do I feel this way?

Lately, I have been finding myself very "jealous" of the things/lifestyles that others around my "age" have. I wonder why we are having such a tough time financially? Why can't Brian find a good job/career? I honestly feel like our home (in which we have lived 7 years) is just BAD LUCK! I know we all create our own situations in life but wonder why, if we are trying to make a better life for ourselves; can't we "catch a break"? I just feel so depressed with not having any money to do little things like go the Dollar Store or take the boys for ice cream! This has been the worst summer so far, for so many reasons- and I wanted it to be the BEST summer! UGH! I have been job-hunting too, which makes me even more sad. I want to still work my wonderful part-time job 6 months of the year and be home with lil sweet Gage and be involved with Gavin's school. But it just isn't going to work for us financially. I get so sad thinking about having to go back to work full-time; I haven't done it in years and Gage is our last child, so I want to enjoy him growing up like I did with Gavin.

All of the financial burdens are on Brian, which in turn is making him grumpy and moody. He is tired of handling it all. I have bills that need to be paid but don't have the money right now and I feel bad asking him for any money for anything! We are getting married in November of '09 and I really wanted to start looking for a wedding dress soon, but its just not happening anytime soon. So that makes me feel more depressed, so I eat junk which helps me feel a little better temporarily but then I complain about feeling/being fat! I don't want to look this way for my wedding day, but I am so down in the dumps that I have no motivation to start exercising, or eating better.

Well, sorry to vent- maybe someone can offer me some insight on how to deal with this better? I used to believe so much in this little saying "This too shall pass" but "this" is taking waaaaaaaaayyy too long to pass for us!

~Noelle

The WAIT is over...

OMG!! My boy is a STUD MUFFIN and he knows it!!

Here is my hunka, hunka burning love again posing for the camera!
WHAT A HAM!

Here is Gavin the Ring Bearer and Jill the Flower Girl!

I would have never thought to do a collage like this!

Gavin was so excited to ride in the limo!

I wasn't too thrilled about the Miller Lite bottles...

THE HAPPY COUPLE: AMIE AND DAN!

So, my future sister and brother in law got married on June 7th and I have been dying to see some of the collages that their photographer put together. This woman is AMAZING! She (Robin) is so creative when she shoots! My oldest son Gavin was the ring bearer in their wedding and I watched when Robin was shooting him alone and I knew she was going to come up with something GOOD! So here are some long-awaited shots that Robin combined into her famous "collage" style 8x10's that she creates.

The exciting part... Brian and I booked her as our photographer for our 11/14/09 wedding! Can I just say that I CANNOT WAIT!!

Graduation time...

PROUD Parents with their Precious Son

(yep, thats me and daddy)

~Gavin with his Kindergarten Teachers~

Gavin the Graduate-- 2008

My sweetie Gavin graduated from Kindergarten this past Wednesday!! I cannot believe how fast his first year of elementary school has gone by; not to mention that he will be turning 7 in July! I remember being single w/o kids thinking how the year couldn't go by fast enough- I was bored with life and didn't know what to do with myself! When Gavin was born, it seemed like I blinked one day and then he was 1 year old! Time FLIES by when you have children; you are so busy tending to their every need and juggling work, home life and all of that other not so fun stuff.

I am so proud of Gavin! He is such a kind-hearted, intelligent and funny little boy. He loves his momma so much and is the BESt big brother is the world! When Gavin comes home from school, he and Gage are inseperable. That little guy sure misses his big bro when he is at school. I look forward to our trips to the zoo, pool, fair and much more this summer!

Happy Mother's Day!

Above are pics of my precious Nanny that passed away almost 3 years ago. God, I miss her so much! She is the true definition of a MOTHER; she gave all she had and loved with every last bit of her heart. Happy Mother's Day to you in Heaven, sweet Angel; I miss you SO much! Gavin still wishes you were here to make him those yummy chocolate chip cookies of yours. And it breaks my heart that baby Gage won't ever know what a wonderful and loving Nanoof he had.

Here is my angel on Earth, my mother! Mom, I hope we brightened your day a little bit. Things have been so tough for you lately, I wish I could make everything all better for you. You always give, give, give but never seem to "get" all the good things you deserve. I love you and am so grateful for the love and friendship that we share! I know sometimes I still can be a brat but I do appreciate you. You mean the world to me; thanks to you and Nanny for teaching me how to be a good mother, I did have 2 of the best teachers!!

I got Gavin to pose with me today for a Mommy's Day pic. Gage was already in bed after a long day of whining!!

So here is a pic of Gage and I from last month!! My sweet cheekers!

These are the 2 greatest gifts I have ever received, my 2 precious sons!!!

Here are a couple goodies that my mom gave me- some scrapbooking supplies and a cookies- yum!

Here are the new comfy pj's mom got me too!

Here is some of the Body Shop stuff that Brian and the boys got me for Mom's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there!! I found this great poem that I'd like to share with all of you!

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom -I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom -I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -I had never been puked on - Pooped on - Spit on - Chewed on, or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and My thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests...or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom -I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known The warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

First off, I had a pretty nice Mother's Day! I received a lot of GREAT gifts from my fiance and the boys. (we fought yesterday so he made sure to tell me that I REALLY deserved my gifts! a bit of sarcasm on his part!) We spent the afternoon at my future mother in laws with the family. Then we headed over to my mom's to give her the gifts we had gotten her. I had Gavin paint a flower pot for her and we put a pink gerbera daisy inside- she loved it! My mom surprised me and gave me some cute pj's, wedding stickers and a big cookie! Brian and the boys gave me a $60.00 gift card to Meijer so I can get flowers to plant- I love to garden!! They also gave me a $60.00 gift certificate to a store called Gingerbread Cottage at our mall which carries Vera Bradley purses. So I will save that for when the new Fall ones come out. I also got some Body Shop bath products from them as well.

The best gift of all is having my 2 sons in my life! No matter how rough each day is, how busy it is, how much they drive me bonkers somedays- I look at them every night when they are asleep and thank God that I have them in my life. I can't even imagine my life without them! I hope all the moms out there were able to find some sanity sometime today but also to grab a hug and a kissy from their kiddo's to feel how much us moms are loved and needed in this world!!

Wild Girls Weekend...

~Mandy, Amie and I with our toilet paper veils on~

(part of the scavenger hunt!)

~Jen and I singing Karaoke~

(It was either "Love Shack" or "I Love Rock and Roll")

~The Bachelorette Party Rule: "Don't ask, don't tell" (lol)~

~Amie and her maid of honor, Barb~

~ My future sister-in-law Amie and I before heading out to the club!~

This past weekend I went away with my future sister in law and a couple other gals for her bachelorette party. We did some shopping and went to a club named Piere's. We also took part in a scavenger hunt for a chance to win Victoria Secret gift cards! I came in 3rd place and won a $30 gift card. We had a blast; I haven't drank or danced like that since before I had kids of my own. My life has definitely calmed down since then and I am thankful for it! It was nice to get away and be a "girl" minus the responsibilities of parenting, cooking, cleaning and so on. I did miss my everyday life with my fiance and our 2 sons. The saying is true many times "Distance makes a heart grow fonder."

A Day in My Life...

With Mother's Day around the corner, I can't help but to think about how that is the ONE day a year we as moms are appreciated for what we do! Not often enough to do we hear... "thanks", "dinner was great", "the house is so clean" and so on.

So for a few laughs (or cries of my own) I will post a day in my life! I am sure that other moms with more children than I have, experience way worse days. I am lucky for what I have but lordy, they exhaust me!

Here is what I did today:

Woke up 6:45 and got my oldest up and fed for school; woke the baby up and got him a bottle, packed his bag, headed off to take the oldest to school; dropped him off and took the baby to my future mother-in-laws house for the morning. (I was supposed to work this morning but when I came back home to shower, I decide to reschedule my morning and secretly stay home- lol!). Got back home, checked email then began the process of cleaning the living room floor- hard wood-pain in the butt; swept the floor first, pulled out the couches and cleaned behind and under them, wet mopped the floors, shampooed the 2 area rugs in there; I decided to reward myself with an Iced Coffee from McDonalds so I ran there real quick and got one. I came home and took a quick shower and dressed; then I went to the consignment shop to sell some clothes, baby stuff and was very disappointed with the crappy $36.00 she gave me this time- don't think I will go back there anymore!

I had lunch with the fiance then we picked to baby up from his moms, went to pick our oldest up from school; we then went to the clinic to have the boys blood drawn and tested for lead, ugh! That was not good- the baby's left arm was used for the blood draw but they didn't get much- he was screaming and then our oldest began crying because he was scared! So when Gavin (our 6 year old) had his turn he refused to sit in my lap and was pulling away- they tried his right arm but they vein was too small so they had to try in the left arm- which made him even more upset. So then we were done- whew! OR SO WE THOUGHT! As we walked outside the nurse came running up to us and said that we needed to come back inside because the little blood that came from the baby had clotted so they needed to redraw another sample!! WHAT?? So this time they pricked his big toe and squeezed blood out one droplet at a time- for which seemed like 10 minutes! He cried the WHOLE time- I was NOT happy!

So after that adventure, we ran to the store for a few things; came home made and ate dinner while listening to the baby whine because he was tired. I began baking 2 dzn. cupcakes for a "cake walk" that my oldest is having at his school tomorrow. Then I put the baby in the tub, bathed him, dressed him- put in another batch of cupcakes, then put the baby to bed. I then began to decorate the cupcakes and the baby woke up again for another bottle of milk! Fed him, put him back to sleep- left and went tanning really quick. Came back home and put our oldest to bed; washed the dishes, finished decorating the cupcakes, washed one load of clothes, checked email, the baby woke back up AGAIN!! (hope its not one of those nights!) Sat back down at the computer to unwind and wrote this. I'll finish my yogurt, dry the clothes and head off to bed TO... start another day of craziness tomorrow!!

To all the moms that read this... Happy Mother's Day ( a little early)!! The world would not TURN if it wasn't for MOMS!!!! (lol)

Nighty-Night! ~Noelle~