Longing for summer lazy days...

Anyone else longing for a day at the beach?

I sure am!

Its been a looong 5 months into 2011... many rough times.

I wanna soak up the sun, squish sand in my toes, splash my kiddos and get a golden tan!

How about you?

Is there anything you are longing to do?

Noelle ♥

Mothers Day ♥

Hope you all had a wonderful Mothers Day:)

Mine was lovely; went to a snazzy brunch with my momma Lori!

Here we are in our spring dresses...

It was nice to eat and chat together; we talked a lot about my brother Mikie that passed away but I think it helps us that we can lean on each other ♥

A poem for you mom...

A Sonnet for My Incomparable Mother
I often contemplate my childhood, Mom.
I am a mother now, and so I know
Hard work is mixed together with the fun;
You learned that when you raised me long ago. I think of all the things you gave to me:
Sacrifice, devotion, love and tears,
Your heart, your mind, your energy and soul--
All these you spent on me throughout the years. You loved me with a never-failing love
You gave me strength and sweet security,
And then you did the hardest thing of all:
You let me separate and set me free. Every day, I try my best to be
A mother like the mom you were to me. By Joanna Fuchs ...........................

My sweet hubby surprised me with this...

A warm bubble bath in the morning with my fave scent soap- coconut and he threw rose petals in :)

He truly is the BEST!!

He also got me a gift certificate for a pedicure and one for zumba classes!

Me and hubz...

He's adorable:)

I'll be back later this week to post pics of Gage's 4th birthday party; I'm hoping to get a nice Spring giveaway together too for my sweet blog friends!

Hugs to you ♥

Noelle

Under Construction

Hi friends...

Getting ready for a blogging makeover, looking for something cheerful...

any suggestions?

Be back soon:)

Noelle ♥

...Lost...

Hi friends... 

Wow I haven't posted since April 4th...

Things have been so difficult since my brother was killed on March 26th.

If you read my moms blog too... you can read exactly what we've dealt with- I can't even begin to write about it all, its INSANE!

I'm lost...

I feel like a part of me has been ripped away. 

In 5 years, I have lost 3 people that I could go to with ANYTHING and they would just listen, not judge but hear ME out.

Those 3 have been my Nanny, my dad and now my brother.

My brother Mikie and I were always close ever since we were kids. 

We played together, and didn't fight.

We didn't fight growing up or as adults.

For the past almost 5 years, my brother lived out in Arizona.

It broke our hearts when he moved away and was even more sad each time he got back on the plane to go to his "home". Every Christmas he'd be home- and maybe one other time throughout the year.

It was never enough time with him:(

My boys loved to be with him, to laugh and be silly.

He made me laugh and smile too.

Life feels wrong... 

There's a void now with him gone...

I feel less happiness, and sunshine in life.

I'm depressed, angry, hurt, PISSED off at the person that hit and killed him... disgusted with his "ex" girlfriend who thinks only SHE should grieve and clings to everything he owns out in AZ- her greed is making this process so hard on everyone.

Then in time, we will have to deal with potential legal issues... which will make the grief longer and more painful.

Its one thing to watch a loved one be ill, to know they are terminal and to prepare yourself to say goodbye sometime, soon.

You begin to accept that they will move onto a "new" life in Heaven.

When someone is ripped away from you tragically, like in the case as Mikie- there's no preparation, there's no way to know how to feel and cope.

Things that used to make me happy, really don't anymore... 

I know thats not healthy and I am seeking help for that.

I do love all of my blog friends who have been there for me, I do get on facebook more often than my blog.

I often don't even feel like walking downstairs to get on the computer- its easier to lie in bed and facebook from my phone.

I hope to be back someday soon on here... to share some birthday pics of my youngest boys party, to share something happy.

Hugs to you all ♥

Noelle

♥ For Mikie ♥

I cannot believe that you died
I never got to say goodbye
So many emotions I can’t hide
Ours not to question why

Oh Brother I miss you so
I feel like part of me is gone
A friend and your sister too
Somehow I must go on

I could always talk to you
And you were always there
Now I don’t know what to do
Full of loneliness and despair

My Brother you are gone now
But when I’m sad and all alone
I will still talk to you anyhow

In my heart instead of the phone

 

Tragedy

Dear friends,

I write to you tonite with a shattered heart...

My brother Michael was killed Saturday evening in California as a result of a collision caused by a large atv called a sandrail; he died on impact.

I can't even begin to explain how I feel; my brother was AMAZING, a gift from God to us all.

We've lost family members to terminal illness where we saw them suffer and knew we had to let them go on so the pain and suffering would end. But we've never lost someone in the way my brother was ripped from our lives.

Please just pray for him, pray that his sweet soul is at peace and he's found God and all our other family members in Heaven; pray that he will be at my side and everyone else who loved him.

Please pray that my mom can find strength to go on and live life and please pray that I can continue as well.

Here is my baby  brother on my wedding day; he walked me down the aisle and gave me away- as my dad couldn't be there to do it ♥

RIP brother ♥

In need of a Stay-cation!

Its been a little while since I've done a swap and I thought this one sounded fun!

We all love a chance to"get away" right?

Well with this swap, your partner and you will create a "stay-cation" swap box!

Here's the details:

1. ONLY SIGN UP IF YOU PLAN TO SWAP - please don't disappoint someone

2. Spend at least $30 before shipping on your swap box

3. Enjoy the swap

Here are some staycation ideas:

spa day

romantic evening out

visting a local attraction

day trip to the beach/lake

day trip to the mountains

Which staycation is your favorite?

Head on over to Atl Yankee Belle's blog to sign up if you are interested:)

I can't wait to get my partner and start creating a FUN stay-cation themed swap box!

Noelle ♥