Monday morning, I walked into my kitchen and opened the blinds to let this beautiful sunlight pour in! Little did I know what a CRAPPY day I was in for:( Work was rough that day, I had to juggle my time to get to 2 different sites to collect child assessments. It rained and poured later on that day too- yuck!
When I saw this sunlight, I wanted to just sit down at the kitchen table and drink my morning cup of 'jo; just to relax and enjoy the quiet!
Today, there is no morning sunshine; neither outside, or in my head! I feel so depressed and in pain; I called a rheumatologist yesterday and got nothing but the run around from them. I tried to talk to my future hubby about how I have been feeling and how it hurts me the way he has been acting toward me. (He has not shown much affection or support at ALL!) Everyday I cry and cry even harder when I go to bed at night. My body aches so bad! Why won't these DAMN doctors help me?!? Brian told me that "I" am effecting our relationship and am making this "one-sided"!! He can't even begin to understand nor see how much this is effecting me! But he is going to blame me for feeling bad-WTH? Am I wrong to feel sad and hurt because the one person who should comfort me isn't doing it, because I am making HIM feel bad because I am miserable right now? This whole "for better or worse, till death do us part" sure isn't being practiced right now! Why/How can he act like the victim here? I supported him when he had a back injury, lost his job and was trying to figure out what caused the injury! Now I am a BURDEN to him??
Sorry to vent this all to you... I guess I am seeking some support/advice from you girls!
Hugs,
Noelle ♥
