Monday morning, I walked into my kitchen and opened the blinds to let this beautiful sunlight pour in! Little did I know what a CRAPPY day I was in for:( Work was rough that day, I had to juggle my time to get to 2 different sites to collect child assessments. It rained and poured later on that day too- yuck!
When I saw this sunlight, I wanted to just sit down at the kitchen table and drink my morning cup of 'jo; just to relax and enjoy the quiet!
Today, there is no morning sunshine; neither outside, or in my head! I feel so depressed and in pain; I called a rheumatologist yesterday and got nothing but the run around from them. I tried to talk to my future hubby about how I have been feeling and how it hurts me the way he has been acting toward me. (He has not shown much affection or support at ALL!) Everyday I cry and cry even harder when I go to bed at night. My body aches so bad! Why won't these DAMN doctors help me?!? Brian told me that "I" am effecting our relationship and am making this "one-sided"!! He can't even begin to understand nor see how much this is effecting me! But he is going to blame me for feeling bad-WTH? Am I wrong to feel sad and hurt because the one person who should comfort me isn't doing it, because I am making HIM feel bad because I am miserable right now? This whole "for better or worse, till death do us part" sure isn't being practiced right now! Why/How can he act like the victim here? I supported him when he had a back injury, lost his job and was trying to figure out what caused the injury! Now I am a BURDEN to him??
Sorry to vent this all to you... I guess I am seeking some support/advice from you girls!
Hugs,
Noelle ♥
12 comments:
Hey, hun! ~ Gentle hug ~
It's always amazing to me how much the mood of the mom affects the man and the kids! Seems so unfair!
~ Stomp ~ Stomp ~
But it is reality.
Generally, my comfort has to come from the Lord or from my girl friends. My poor Bobby just can't handle it when I'm not feeling good. I think it scares him but he doesn't know it and he responds to me in a negative way.
We women are so in touch with our feelings but the guys just aren't! Most guys anyway... They often (most of the time?) don't even realize when they are being mean or angry and they seem so shocked when confronted about it. I've found that it has made me a stronger woman though. No room for self- pity or else the whole family would drown! The hand that rocks the cradle- rules the world...
I'm praying for ya, love! ♥
Oh Noelle ~ I wish I could give you a big hug. I am going through the same thing with my Glenn. He had back surgery too and was out of work for quite a long time. And who paid for everything? Yup, me. Talking to him never worked...the blame always came back to me.
If you've tried talking to him and that doesn't work...maybe there might be a way for you to get away for awhile..maybe with some girlfriends? Just a thought.
Big hugz,
Michele
I'm sorry that you are unhappy. And I'm sorry that you aren't getting much support from your fiance. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I will be praying for you though!!
Oh honey :( I am so sorry! He sounds like my ex husband!!! I hope you find out what is wrong soon. You are in my prayers sweetie.
Love ya,
Amy
When I was going through chronic anxiety and agarophobia (I couldn't go out for 11 years) I got no support from E and it just made me feel like such a total failure. I realize he didn't understand but geez, a little support would have helped a lot! I do hope your future hubby doesn't let this come between you...have you been checked for Fibromyalgia? Your symptoms really sound like those of Fibro...I have a couple of friends who have it and they're in pain all the time. Finding a doctor that will help you is like finding a needle in a haystack...grrrr. It took 11 years for me to find a doctor who finally listened to me and helped me. I'm thinking of you and if you need to talk, I'm here:-) xoxo
It'll all come to a head one way or another..
And hopefully lead to a real ressult for you.
Ever seen that book men are from Mars women from venus??
Guys just do/say/act differently often just plain not getting it.
My Hubby is a very supportive Hubby But not in the soft tender,understnding way I wish he was,More like a Footy coach rustling his team!!!...ugh!
Us,Girls are and will be here for ya!
All the best sweet girl
((hugs))
I hope you get some answers from the Dr's soon. I can't imagine being in pain with no answer for it or way to make it better.
As for your future hubby, maybe his way of "dealing" is lashing out? Sometimes I think men want to deny there is a problem and rather then deal with it, they turn it around. I know mine will say stuff that he doesn't mean to come off as being insensitive but it does. Sometimes I speak up and other times I just let it go.
I think it's time to send the kids to a sitter and hash is all out. The good, the bad and the ugly!
Hang in there!! You will have a box in a few days that will hopefully make you smile! :)
Noelle, I am so sorry you are not feeling well!....That is so frustrating when you know something is wrong & yet the doctors just are taking their sweet time helping you!....I am married to a great man, but one who is definitely the tall, silent type,... who just isn't much for pampering & babying me. I knew that when I married him, but certainly has upset me at times through the last 27 years!...However, I would still never trade him for the world!...I happen to be pretty independent & I totally appreciate my husband for the decent & honorable man he is! & he ceetainly does have his moments! :).....Hang in there Noelle! You can e-mail me anytime!.....Heidi XO
(( Hugs )) to you Noelle .
So sorry you`re feeling so down and not getting the support you need from Brian . Men don`t show there feelings too often - and if you push them they will back away - so you need to try and go around this by suggesting things and making him think it was his idea . if you say we need to talk that`s wrong - as they feel pressured and some get defensive , but saying i`m feeling this way or would you mind doing this for me - could help .And maybe he`s feeling the pressures of the wedding coming up , men deal with it differently - and some throw themselves into their work , while we need to talk or eat for comfort to cope with it .
I hope he gives you some support and that you find out what is wrong with you .
hugs
xoxo
hello girlie, how are u? I really need to catch up! Need sunshine? You need to come to CALI we have plenty! Is it really cold therE? We are thinking of moving to Idaho but its sooooooooooooo cold. We are totally warm weather kind of people
urs farts too? hahaha Oh my gosh...sometimes the sound or the smell wakes me up ,,,i was going to add that to the post...but then I thouhght I would turn people off hahahahah
did u get the package I sent u?
Oh hon, I am sorry I haven't been by to read this until now! I've been too wrapped up in us being sick ourselves! I see from the next few posts that things are a bit better with Brian so I am glad to hear that. I'm sorry though, it can be hard to feel all alone. I think Holly's right guys just don't understand and it takes some serious heart to heart time to make them get a clue. Big belated hugs from me to you♥
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