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Hi friends! What a long week it has been:(

I am still so drained!

My dads viewing was very nice; lots of his co-workers came to show support. They had a lot of funny stories to share about my dad. The funeral Saturday was rough; I decided to be a "paul bearer" and help carry my dad, along with my husband, 3 brothers and my dads brother in law. I just have to keep reminding myself that he is in a better place now. Christmas may be rough at my moms because he was always there too. Next week we will have to begin moving his things out of his apartment by the end of this month, not looking forward to that.

Tomorrow is my 31st birthday... not too excited about that.

Today I am celebrating it with 2 of my best girls and also with my sister in law. Lunch then dinner later. That should cheer me up a bit.

I feel so moody, happy one minute... sad/cranky the next. I guess thats normal.

I probably won't post much the next few days but I will be by to visit all of you!

Love,

Noelle ♥

My Heart is Warm today...

My heart is warm today with love and kindness from those around me, but filled with so much sadness thinking about what the next two days will bring. My dads viewing is tomorrow from 2-8 pm and Saturday is his funeral:(

I have to tell you a bit of a wild story at first... and you may all think I am crazy but here it goes...

We have a local radio station here that features a psychic named "Barbara the Gray Witch" every Thursday. I've listened to people call in and what she has said to them. I've tried to call in a few times before but never got through. I DID it today... I knew what I wanted to ask... the phone rang at least 25 times as I sat in my car in my son's parking lot at school...

THEY ANSWERED!

They asked my name and my sign- which is Capricorn...

They asked my question...

I had 3...

"Why did my dad pass away so unexpected? Was it the cancer or did he just stop breathing?"

"Was there anything he wanted to tell me?"

Barbara told me... "It was time for him to "leave body" he did just stop breathing, but he is still with me. He's not sick anymore or sad, and I shouldn't be sad either. In a couple weeks strange things will begin happening, lights will flicker, sounds, etc... it will be him and he will appear in my dreams! Set a place for him still at the table this Christmas cause he will still be there with us. And when you are an old old lady and leave body as well,

you two will be reunited once again"

WOW... I cried the whole time I was talking to her and THEY PLAYED it on the RADIO! I missed the first part but heard the end of it, and heard myself sniffling in the background.

WAS it a SIGN from my DAD that my call got through? Makes me WONDER ♥

So then on Monday, I got a call from the Senior Vice President of the chain of hotels that my dad worked for. She had told me how sorry she was to hear that my dad had passed, and that she was sending something to our family to help out at this sad and difficult time. I then later spoke to the GM of my dads hotel where he worked and he told me that each year the corp. holds various fundraisers each year such as bake sales, etc to raise money to award 3 employees at the Holiday season who they feel are "in need of some help". MY DAD WAS NOMINATED this year ♥ I broke down into tears on the phone because it made me so sad to think that he wasn't here to receive the "award". So they sent it to me instead to take in his honor...

Today I received an envelope delivered by UPS and inside it was a card...

And...

A MONEY ORDER FOR $400.00!!!!

I  was completely astounded!

I spoke to my mom and told her and asked what she thought my dad would have done with it this year; and she said, "He would have spent it on you guys!"

There are 4 of us kids!!

So on Christmas my brothers will all be surprised when they receive a special card with a note from me and $100 for themselves.

I've been contemplating what I want to do with my $100 and have a few ideas... :)

Although today was very rough on me emotionally, I feel like these things happened for a reason...

maybe my dad does want me to know he is here with me...?

I am SO grateful to his company and their generosity ♥

Please keep myself and my family in your prayers the next two days as we deal with such a difficult time; give ask God to give us the strength to say good bye for now, but know that our dad will be with us always!

I love you all and wish you all the MERRIEST of all Christmases this year!!

You don't know how much you all mean to me and each hold a little place in my heart ♥

Love,

Noelle ♥

P.S. I know, I know... I changed the page again, LOL! The ADORABLE header was designed just for me by my darling friend Katie, go visit her... you will love her too!!

thank you all!

Hi friends! I've missed blogging this week but haven't had energy to get on here and look around. I feel mainly numb, like "This isn't happening" but sad, very angry with the hospital, my dads dr., etc. A mix of common emotions at times like this. I know that I can't shut down like part of me wants to; the busier I stay the less I have time to "think". He's always on my mind but all the unanswered questions that are pounding away in my head don't surface when I am busy doing things. I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your support, kind thoughts and prayers! It means the WORLD to me ♥

With that being said, I need to try to focus on things that I love and that make me smile this time of year... so here are some pretty pics to share...

Love this tree, love the staircase, love the green paint on the walls... its not MINE though.

Isn't this the cutest lighting fixture; love those lil lampshades!

Oh and to have a fireplace of my own some day is such a DREAM! Love the mantle and the cutest gingerbread stockings too ♥

Look at this gingerbread display My children would be at the table 24/7 feasting on all the candy pieces on the gingerbread houses;)

I recently won a giveaway, shown here from Gina at Simply Heart and Home; she was hosting a 12 Days of Christmas giveaway!

Its a Country stamp set from Stampin' Up... I just need to purchase a couple new stamp pads!

~So how are you Christmas plans coming along? Are you done shopping?~

Love you all,

Noelle ♥

Please Pray... My dad passed ♥

Hi friends,

I am so sad to say that my dad passed away this morning at 12:47 am at the Hospice House in South Bend, IN. He was finally brought back home Friday morning at 1 am via medical transport from the hospital in Indy that he's been at since his cancer surgery on Oct. 19. 

I had planned to go see him yesterday with the boys because I had worked 2 jobs on Friday and was unable to make it. I let life get in the way of me going to see my last yesterday with my boys. We planned to just go visit him today because it was getting late.

After midnight the nurse went to move my dad in bed and he quickly changed color and stopped breathing. 911 was called and they tried for 25 min. to revive him. At that time God sent an angel to take my daddy to Heaven where he could be pain free.

This came as a COMPLETE shock to us! We were told last week that the dr. felt he had 9 month- a year to live. We just saw him on Monday and he seemed to have some trouble remembering some things and was very down in the dumps. I think he did enjoy seeing and "talking" with myself, my brother Andrew and our mom.

I am devastated and feel such guilt and remorse for not seeing him yesterday. There was no way to know this was happening anytime soon. I just thank God that he took my daddy away from the pain and suffering he's endured so far; and didn't allow him to continue on in pain. Maybe getting back to his hometown gave my dad a sense of ease in his passing, I can only hope. I have so many questions I want to ask my dad; with him not really being able to speak the past 2 months since the surgery it kills me to think of how he was feeling, the thoughts that ran through his head... etc. I just hope he knows how much we love him and tried everything we could to get him back home in time for Christmas.

Please just pray for my dad that he is happy and healthy again in Heaven...

Please pray for my family that we can come together to support each other...

Please pray for my 2 lil boys- Papa's only grandchildren, that they may always remember him and find comfort as well.

Daddy...

If you can see and hear me, know how much I love you and will miss you!

We grew apart for a long time but I once again felt like your little girl.

Please always watch over me and my family;

you will always be in our hearts and minds.

Thanks for all your support girls, it means the world to me!

Love,

Noelle ♥

blaaahhhh

What a week! I feel soooo blaaaahhh!

Its so stinkin' cold here in Indiana; it was 7 degrees this morning! YUCK!

I am the coldest I've ever been; my body is not adjusting well to winter this year.

I met with an admissions person at Hospice House today and good news...

my dad may be back here tomorrow!

HH is just temporary but at least he's home in time to celebrate Christmas with us.

When I saw him on Monday he seemed very down, the dr's keep saying how depressed he is.

When I walked in his room, he seemed to perk up a bit- glad to have us there:)

I am relieved to have him back in this area cause traveling to see him in Indy was very draining for me!

Apologies for a not so fancy pic filled post today.

I feel down in the dumps, maybe PMS is setting in... I don't know.

Here's to hoping for a better day tomorrow...

Hugs,

Noelle ♥

Your thoughts wanted...

I'm sure you all have see people holding signs like these on corners in your home towns...

how does it make you feel?

I used to think "Go get a job, even at McDonalds or something"

NOW... with our economy as bad as it is, jobs are scarce and employers receive an overabundance of applicants which makes landing a job more difficult.

We are struggling this holiday season, its not the first time. I just took a second part time job, Brian is looking for a new job as well. 

But... I feel sad for these individuals who stand holding these signs. 

Even at my most desperate times, I "made" things work, but don't think I could have ever stood on the street holding a sign like this.

One day I was on my way to Walmart and I saw a tattered looking female holding a sign "Single mom, needs help for her children". Two cars in front of me at the stop light, the individual gave the woman some cash and she began crying! It simply touched and broke my heart at the same time. I truly felt that the woman with the sign, NEEDED that money. I wanted to give her some too, when I came back from Walmart she was gone.

I've heard people say things about the people who stand with the signs that they "just want money to go buy drugs or booze". Is is bad to think that? I admit I've thought it a time or two as well.

During each Holiday season, my husband and I along with our boys find some sort of charity to help. Last year my hubby took our oldest son to a local supermarket; they had a tree up in the store with paper ornaments that stated items that elderly people in our community needed. My hubby let my son pick a couple of those ornaments and they purchased "gifts" such as deoderant, peanuts, cherry cordials, etc. to donate to the elderly that "wished" for those items that year. We've had our son pick out a toy from the store and donate it to Toys for Tots which the 

US Marines sponsor each Christmas as well.

Even though we will not ever know who gets those gifts, it warms my heart to give to someone in need. Something about this season makes me open my heart and mind a little bit more. Even though our life it so tough right now with my dad and financially, there are SO MANY more people out there worse off than us. SO just giving back a little bit helps me to realize how lucky we are to have the things we do have.

Feel free to share one of your stories of helping others this time of year...

Have you done a random act of kindness at the holidays?

Have you given to someone who held a sign "will work for food", etc.?

Its so amazing to hear stories of kindness this time of year.

Happy Holidays to you all!

Love,

Noelle ♥

Cookies with Santa

Hello! Today we went to see Santa at our oldest son's school!

It was really cute...

they had a hot cocoa station, a cookie decorating station, a coloring station

and assorted Christmas books out on the tables for the kids/parents to read.

Here is Mr. Gage above decorating his cookie!

We went through 3 different plastic knives cause each time he spread the icing on his cookie, he'd like the knife... and there was NO double dipping allowed so he had to get a fresh one:)

Baby boy with his overloaded with sprinkles cookie!

His sweater that he's wearing is his "chocolate" sweater; we have a new thing where we name each piece of clothing a food in that color; silly but he loves it!

I was chasing Gage while Gavin decorated his cookie but his just had red sprinkles, his fave color!

I was so proud of my baby boy who went right to Santa and sat on his lap!

He told Santa he wanted the Fly Boat from the Wonder Pets cartoon for Christmas ♥

But... he left the event in tears cause he wanted Santa to give him the Fly Boat NOW not on Christmas morn:(

Big bro told Santa he wanted the Lego Power Miners sets for Christmas;

I heard Santa say to him, "It sounds like you really like Lego's" :)

These are the Lego Power Miners that he wants; well maybe Santa will bring a couple of them;)

And here is the lil Fly Boat that Gage wants for Christmas along with these other top 2 items...

Gage really wants this Lego Duplo school bus for Christmas, which he preceded to toss in our shopping cart today at Target!! LOL

He also would like Santa to bring this Yo Gabba Gabba Boom Box for him too!

Its so cute cause these are the TOP 3 things he always says that he wants "Ho Ho" to bring him ♥

I *think* if Santa got them each there 3 top faves this year; they'd be thrilled which makes "SANTA" a.k.a.

mom and dad" very happy that they won't have to spend a ton of $$!!

What was your fave Christmas gift as a child? Or what are your kid/s wanting this year from Santa??

P.S. Please continue to pray for my dad; he is having a really hard time :( We are going to Indy to see him tomorrow and I start my new tutoring job Tuesday after school. I probably won't be posting again till Tuesday sometime. Thanks :)

Hugs,

Noelle ♥